puppysword

[felinguistic]

:)

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[felinguistic]

Oh, it's fairly simple. [ but he's still glancing at the rules because lmao what're card games other than useless. but they have so much free time and nothing of his usual time-occupying activities to do so. here we are. ]

Two cards each, five cards on the table. You use the cards on the table and the two you have to make a set. Then you reveal your sets, and the best set wins.

[ he leans down under the table. when he pops back up he has a handful of casino chips, which he lets scatter over the table. ]

But you have to make bets on whether you'll win.

[leggymaru]

[His brows furrow gently, but he listens and, after, he nods.] I understand. [Listen. He's stupid, but he's not a moron? Sometimes.

His eyes follow the bouncing casino chips.]

Alright. We make our bets first?

[felinguistic]

Usually these represent money, which we don't have.

[ danger will robinson. ]

A shame. Games like this usually have some weight behind them.

[leggymaru]

[He 100% does not see any future ramifications of this encounter.]

Like a gambit? We can play by the rules, but add some of our own perhaps. I want it to be fair for you, too, Shiraishi-san.

[felinguistic]

[ he may not always be a moron but bless his heart he's naive. ]

Fair is fine to a point. You're supposed to have fun with games -- [ or so he's read? heard? figured out? ] -- so why not add in benefits to winning a hand?

I would say that's an acceptable starting rule.

[leggymaru]

[BAD]

I agree. Is there a condition you would like to add to our game before we begin?

[He's so damn puppy.]

[felinguistic]

[ ✨ ]

... [ you just keep handing him this power, hizamaru?? ] What will you give me if you lose?

[leggymaru]

[:weeps:

He looks thoughtful for a moment. Then, without reluctance:]

I will buy you something from the gift shop.

[felinguistic]

That'll get expensive if you keep losing.

[ but hey, he's shuffling and dealing out the cards let's pretend i know how to play poker and they end up with the five in the middle and two cards each. does hiza realise he hasn't asked what the sets are and which hands beat other hands? ]

But I'll take that offer.

[leggymaru]

Oh... We play more than one time?

[PLEASE HELP HIM also same @ playing hisoka it was stupid ganba

and yeah, he doesn't realize any of this he's learning?? as he goes??]

Thank you, Shiraishi-san. What do I get if you lose?

[felinguistic]

We play as many times as we want to.

[ watch as i aggressively handwave every game. ]

...

[ n o t h i n g. but, okay. hm. if he doesn't offer up anything then he might be down a player and back to being annoyed at being bored, so... ]

Maybe I'll get you something. Or you can ask me something. [ hm, hmmm. ]

[leggymaru]

[IT'S FINE

Hizamaru waits for Shiraishi to think about it. He doesn't reject the offers, but:]

If you lose, I want you to have sex with me.

[felinguistic]

[ well. ]

Pardon?

[ paRDON. ]

[leggymaru]

[he's adapting]

When you have sex, you get a token. So if you lose, I want you to have sex with me. I want to learn... how to be good at sex.

Do you fight, Shiraishi-san?

[felinguistic]

...

[ at least the world just clicked back into place again. ]

Ah, you’re token hunting. You could’ve led with that and it would have been more effective. They’re an obvious advantage here, after all.

[ he’s flipping over the cards in the centre now, revealing what they have to work with. ]

Like you do, with swords?

[leggymaru]

Yes, the tokens are important.

[It's fine? Sure.]

It doesn't have to be with swords. Do you fight in general?

[felinguistic]

[ it's an excuse to bang. ]

... [ hmmm. ] No, not literally. What would I have to fight? Metaphorically though, you could say I fight for justice in my own way.

[leggymaru]

Ah. I was only curious.

[Was he going to ask for fight-fucking? No one can say.]

You fight for justice?

[Carefully, he takes up the cards he's been given to look them over. He really doesn't know how to fucking play.]

[felinguistic]

[ ask for the things you want, hizachan. ]

In a way. I work in law enforcement. It's not exactly a secret.

[ hmm hmm. well, they've got their bets on down and he can probably pull out a good hand out of what he's got so. ]

If you're really confident, you can up your bet you know. It's supposed to be a high stakes game, from what the rules say.

[leggymaru]

Oh. [Recognition flashes across his face.] Like... the Shinsengumi?

[He glances at the chips, at the cards, his cards. and then he shakes his head.]

I'll wait. I'm not sure I will be very good at the start.

[felinguistic]

Like the police.

[ but, yeah, okay. fair. swords will know sword boys. ] But if they were chasin gdown criminals, then certainly.

Alright. [ so, he just lays out his cards, revealing idek a middle of the road hand. a straight? ]

[leggymaru]

[Oh no. Will he be fucked by a sexy cop one day? Stay tuned.]

So you search for criminals? Who steal?

[He lays down his cards. Unfortunately, my work filter blocks the evil poker card site which is stupid. He has a full house.

He just doesn't realize it.]

[felinguistic]

[ there are outfits in the boutique for that. ]

No. I profile criminals. Forensics, rather than field work.

[ he stops, trailing off to squint at the cards in front of him. here comes the war of does he tell him that he won the round and got himself a lay or does he keep quiet and keeping playing. decisions, decisions. ]

[leggymaru]

Oh. I don't know what "forensics" is.

[hee hee

Hizamaru just peers at Shiraishi for a curious moment or two, and then he glances at their respective cards.] I just have these three and these two, Shiraishi-san. [He points at them.]

Which one of them wins?

[felinguistic]

Application of science to criminal and civil law. Less swords.

[ i hate this. don't make me do this. ]

...

[ .... sigh. ]

Your hand is higher. [ it'll be difficult to mess with an adaptation of the rules if he were to win with another hand with the one hiza has now. ]