puppysword

[felinguistic]

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[felinguistic]

People seeing all your secrets and some of your most vulnerable moments is something you "don't mind", huh?

[ he usually doesn't care, but he doesn't have control of what others see, or what parts of his memory are paraded around for others to see. ]

[leggymaru]

It isn't something I would want others to be forced to experience... if it made them uncomfortable. But it also isn't something I'm worried about hiding.

[They're wild memories, and almost all of them make him feel things, sure... But he doesn't know if he would hide them.]

Does it bother you... to share yours? I'm sorry for seeing it. I won't tell anyone.

[felinguistic]

No, you won't.

[ it's not threatening, just sure. he won't say anything, because shiraishi has made it clear he doesn't like the idea of people seeing his memories like this. and hizamaru is the sort of honourable, or sincere soul that would take that to heart. ]

A lot of these are farfetched anyway. People would think they're made up.

[leggymaru]

[Shiraishi isn't wrong. Hizamaru won't tell anyone unless Shiraishi happens to die, and someone needs to know to verify information. Even then, Hizamaru won't tell the whole story.]

There are many strange things here people may find unbelievable, Shiraishi-san. Such as my comrades and me.

[Swords in bodies? Ha ha.]

For what it's worth... I did not mind yours, Shiraishi-san. Not what was happening, but... How you felt. It was... familiar. [Sorry, he's just very earnest.] It reminded me of when I was a blade without a body. I don't think feeling... nothing makes you not who you are.

Even when I didn't have these feelings, I was still Hizamaru... even if I went by other names at the time. I was still the same sword as I had been when I was forged.

[felinguistic]

I’m still working out how you all work, in case you assumed there were no sceptics left.

[ that memory now was undoubtedly from an object — maybe one with a soul, for lack of a better term, but an object that was more than the folded steel of a regular blade. but he’s slept with hizamaru a couple of times now, and he knows his body is human.

his skin bruises and reddens under touch and teeth. his hair is soft, and he knows tugging it elicits responses from hizamaru. it’s a human body, or remarkably close to one if not that. hizamaru is both human and not. ]

There is a difference between knowing you are still who you were, and being “forged” as nothing in the first place. [ he turns his head properly, studying hizamaru for a long and contemplative moment. ] You’re weirdly sincere and honest, for someone who’s still learning and growing into emotion. No one would pick you out as lacking in empathy.

[leggymaru]

[Surprisingly, the first half manages to get a very small smile out of him. He doesn't seem to mind Shiraishi being skeptical. He's here, he knows he's here. He knows his body is human, and he remembers what it felt like to be summoned into such a form. That's what matters to him.]

I was forged to protect human masters.

[He returns Shiraishi's look, simply allowing the man to study him as wanted. The smile is gone, but he's not frowning.]

Humans are fascinating, just like their history. I have cut down humans at my former masters' discretions, but I have no want to harm them myself. [Swords don't kill people; people kill people.] It's interesting to watch their journey through their lives, so...

There isn't any reason not to be honest with them.

[felinguistic]

[ that gets a slightly amused sound from the back of shiraishi's throat. ]

There are plenty of reasons not to be honest with people. Put vulnerable parts of yourself in the wrong hands, and they'll destroy them. It happens all the time.

[ he waves a hand. ]

Statistically they say it's more likely you'll be assault or killed by someone you know, instead of a stranger.

[leggymaru]

[Ah??? An almost Shiraishi laugh?? He perks up just slightly, surprised, but that’s all he gets... He looks so hopeful and then it fades at Shiraishi’s words.]

Elder brother—

[His eyes lower under the knot of his thin brows.]

It wasn’t his fault. He was told by the gods.

[felinguistic]

[ well.

that gets his eyes to properly open. ]

... Your brother killed you? [ ...

... give him a moment here.

he's just going to take his wrist and check for his pulse?? hello?? ]

[leggymaru]

[There’s a pulse, and a warm arm. Seems he is very much alive.]

Mm-mm. [The fingers curl.] When we were presented to the emperor after being forged by our smiths from the same lance, I was longer. I was three shaku, and elder brother was only two shaku and seven suns.

The emperor thought elder brother’s smith had stolen some of the iron, so he imprisoned him.

Elder brother’s smith prayed to the gods to show the emperor his honor. Elder brother unsheathed and cut away my extra length so we became equal.

[Shiraishi isn’t wrong about being hurt by the ones you think love you most. He turns and draws one leg up out of the covers. Along the foot from smallest toe to ankle is a very faint discolored scar.]

[felinguistic]

[ he twists himself enough to get a look at hizamaru's foot, eyeing the scar there. what even are swords anyway, he understands it fundementally in some ways, but nothing about it is logical. ]

It's usually to do with the fact you trust them to not to betray your trust, leaving you vulnerable when they do. [ how many deaths here have, or will be, due to that, he wonders. ] The only way to stop potential betrayal is to make it so someone can't even comprehend the idea of going against your wishes.

[ ... ]

Even that isn't foolproof.

[leggymaru]

[Even as a sword, this sounds? feels? alarming, and it shows gently on his face when he glances at Shiraishi. He thinks about Shiraishi's memory and frowns thinly.]

Shiraishi-san... [For a moment, he doesn't know what to say. He stretches his leg back beneath the covers.] Is that why you always say something when I speak of our master and what we do? You think Master might be that way?

...Did someone do that to you?

[felinguistic]

I did say it was a given statistic that your more at risk from the people you know. Stands to reason that trust plays a part in it.

[ he lets himself flop back into a more relaxed position and closes his eyes again. ]

It's just something I've wondered about recently. A case back home might have something to do with that.

[leggymaru]

Oh.

[He accepts this without much question because he's just a stupid sword sometimes. He lies back and turns his head away, resting an arm over his chest. His lashes flutter as if he's moving his eyes thoughtfully around, but he's quiet for some time.]

One of my former masters was betrayed by his brother and the son of an ally. The one I told you about, the one who Benkei-san was devoted to without question. Yoshitsune-sama. He loved his brother Yoritomo-sama and always looked up to him. Elder brother was Yoritomo-sama's sword at one time. [Hm. Familiar.] He helped his elder brother defeat another clan, and he was made governor and given titles.

But Yoritomo-sama took them away because he was suspicious, and Yoshitsune-sama fled and hid with his friend. Yoritomo-sama pressured the son into betraying him, and they forced him to commit seppuku when they surrounded his estate.

[He doesn't look over at Shiraishi.]

Mikazuki-sama... [His voice lowers.] Master wanted elder brother and I to watch him, almost like spies. Master thought he may try to change history.

[felinguistic]

[ hizamaru does his best and i support him!! still. it's quiet for a time, and he feels a little less on edge now the topic has been dropped for the time being, apparently.

expect it hasn't, of course. one his eyes opens again to glance at hizamaru while he talks, filtering through the information as it's shared with him. ]

Did you follow your master's orders, in spite of that?

[ "become someone close to--" it's not such a different order. ] Or did it go wrong?

[leggymaru]

We trust our master. We weren't asked to cut Mikazuki-sama down, only to watch him carefully. But... he still altered history in a small way. We weren't able to stop him.

Mikazuki-sama is... like the moon, I think is what elder brother was trying to tell me. You only see a small part sometimes. The rest is dark, hidden, but it's still there... That is how Mikazuki-sama is, and... sometimes, elder brother, too. They are similar in that regard.

Yoshitsune-sama and Benkei-san escaped instead of perishing. [He finally turns his head to glance at Shiraishi. His smile is small and wry.] And that is another legend of Yoshitsune-sama lost to history.

[felinguistic]

That's most people though. People like you, who wear everything on their face-- [ and he reaches out to lightly tap a finger tip on his forehead. ]-- are an interesting lot.

It makes you interesting. Easy to read, as well. But I suppose it also makes you dangerous.

[ changing history, and stories lost in time itself. and someone at the helm, deeming what is and isn't allowed in their vision of the world. it's not so unfamiliar. ]

[leggymaru]

[His eyes flinch out of reflex when the finger swoops out to tap him; he goes cross-eyed a second before looking back at Shiraishi.]

Dangerous?

[Perhaps the real danger with him, unlike Higekiri or Mikazuki, their motives being hidden, is the fact that no one should ever incur the wrath of a gentle man.]

[felinguistic]

Unpredictable. Wearing your emotions openly is one thing, but by seeing things simply--

[ and he pauses briefly, remembering an angry voice and words that had shaken something loose in him. he'd acknowledged that, even before coming here, but the truth of understanding what had changed and how and being comfortable with it... that was a longer process. ]

Hm. People like you don't always know the layers of situation, but have a knack of hitting the core of the issue. Intentionally or not.

[leggymaru]

[Though he doesn't say anything, his brows rise at Shiraishi during the pause and lower once Shiraishi continues. He actually isn't sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, so his eyes lower under his lashes.]

Is that something... not desirable?

[felinguistic]

[ he does actually laugh at that. ]

It might not be something we want to hear, so maybe not.

[leggymaru]

[The laugh makes him glance up. It feels weird, to enjoy the laugh but not get to enjoy it actually because of the topic of conversation.]

So I should try... to be different than that?

[felinguistic]

...

[ hmmm. ]

No, I don't think you should.

[leggymaru]

[Oh. He looks surprised, and then his face softens some. He may seem... slightly embarrassed.]

I'll continue to be myself then.

[felinguistic]

If you know what that is, then I'd say that's a smart choice.

[ ah, embarrassed hiza. is fun to see. ]